ThE So CaLleD LifE

He says, "I want a woman who will cry and pour her heart out on me..."

He says, "Yup, that's my sentimental side, and I'd like to keep my relationship low profile..."

He says, "I'll probably start to have a realationship once I leave here, everyone knows me here, and it's just hard to keep low profile that way..."

Well, keep your words, my love. I am indeed so proud of you. Cannot wait when we finally get to go to a bar/club hand in hand, and I love you!

Even though they say:"Look, Lochte beat Michael, so he escaped from Michael's shadow, after all, he's finally not the 'runner up' any more..." I still think that there's no way people would pay attention to him if he had not beaten Michael. So, sadly still, Gold is the hero, silver is nobody.

Therefore, I am in full support of him to keep laying back and be himself. The media will never cut their crap, but Ryan, you don't have to listen to them.

The original article starts here:

America's greatest swimmer is headed to Stanford for the U.S. championships starting Tuesday at the Avery Aquatic Center.

No, not Michael Phelps.

The 14-time Olympic medalist is skipping the weeklong meet that serves as a qualifier for the Pan-American Games and the junior world championships. (The Bay Area's Natalie Coughlin also opted not to compete on her home turf after swimming a full schedule at the worlds in Shanghai.)

The man of the moment is Ryan Lochte, a 26-year-old Floridian who emerged as the potential star of the 2012 Summer Olympics last week with a stunning performance at the FINA World Championships. After swimming in Phelps' considerable wake for the entirety of his career, Lochte broke out with five gold medals and set the first world record since specialized polyurethane bodysuits were banned a year ago.

He defeated Phelps in both of their races, but get this: He's not impressed with himself.

"As far as I'm concerned right now, I'm at the bottom of swimming," Lochte told reporters Sunday in Shanghai after being named the male athlete of the meet.

Lochte might have exaggerated a bit, but his father, Steve, says the versatile swimmer isn't close to being satisfied.

"He knows he can go so much faster," said Steve Lochte, a former All-America swimmer who coaches a Daytona Beach, Fla., youth team. "He knows there is so much room for him to improve."

But so far the year's training plan has worked

"My coach always said the most important year is the year before the Olympics," Lochte said in June while competing in Santa Clara. "This is the year where everybody might take it easy and make 2012 their best year. Well, I feel you got to start out sooner than later."

So, instead of stopping after the world championships, he's sticking with the plan to compete at the U.S. meet that ends Saturday. Lochte might even aim to break more world records at Stanford. His father said he'll decide which events to enter each day although he has qualified for 11 of them.

After the U.S. championships, Lochte will train at altitude in Colorado Springs, Colo., before taking a well-deserved hiatus.

Then he will reconvene with Florida coach Gregg Troy in September for the final push toward London. Steve Lochte said his son expects to decide on an Olympic schedule in October.

And don't be surprised if he tries to duplicate Phelps' historic eight-event program from Beijing.

"There is a strong possibility," his dad said. "He could end up swimming 11 events, that's how good he is."

Until recently, Lochte's image was shaped by finishing as Phelps' runner-up. Oddly, it never bothered the swimmer who is motivated by winning races more than recognition. He downplayed comparisons to Phelps over the past five years, though anyone paying attention knows without King Michael on the scene, Lochte would have been America's Olympic cover boy.

"I kind of just worry about myself and focus on what I need to do to become great," Lochte said in June.

He fed that need to succeed with a new diet after the Beijing Games, where he won two gold medals and two bronze medals. Despite the haul, Lochte wasn't happy with the effort.

"He realized if he wanted to make the next step, which is trying to become one of the greatest of all time, he's got to change things in the water, on land and in his nutrition," Steve Lochte said.

The swimmer has a body from the chisel of Michelangelo but the diet of a candy freak. His reputation for junk food soared at the 2008 Olympics where he ate only at McDonalds.

"He used to live on a bag of Skittles and Mountain Dew," lamented his father, who began coaching Lochte seriously when his son was 12.

Lochte, though, hated losing more than devouring burgers and fries. He weaned himself off the less nutritious food that was making him feel sluggish, and started the summer in his best physical shape since college.

"I'm more confident than I've ever been," Lochte said.

It showed last week in China. Now on to the next challenge: repeating the performance in London to supplant Phelps once and for all.-Yeah, right, like you care.

I guess I am really sick this time...

nose is stuffed, eyes are drying and ready to tear any second, throat hurts as if someone scrached it...not well, in general...but, it does force me to go to bed early today, which might be a good thing.

10:32 PM PMT. Lying in my bed with feet and legs up high in the air against wall forming a 90 degree angle with my upper body. It's dark in the room except for my one hour ahead alarm clock reminding me of my dream, and the dim light from the screen and keyboard. You gotta love Mac, frankly speaking, if it weren't because of the backlit kepboard, I'd give at least an extra 20 seconds of thoughts before swiping my card. Still love it, fits the theme of tonight.

I can almost feel the wind ouside squeezing in my window, a little bit chilly, but, alive.

Secret garden quietly fills the enviroment around me, calming and soothing.

An image appears in my head: the sky is dark with some light orangish hue, the wind is blowing, I am in a place that's alittle bit strange, but comfortable, it might be raining outside, trying to think where I want to be...gees, my nose is really stuffed, do you ever get this feeling that your nose is sore? Well, that's how I am feeling right now...ok, come back...umm...It needs to be somewhere I can see the sky, with some trees in the sight, but not in a forest, it smells a bit chilly, but not cold...

I think I lost it, there was a moment when it was clear enough to touch me, but it's gone now, gotta sieze moment, what can i say...

Now, let'w talk about fear. Why do I fear? Why do I feel I am not good enough? They always use those fancy words to describe something that's really simple. Don't forget previous experience of underestimating yourself, and look at what ended up doing...well, I don't regret for what I did, it's just that you see the difference between the description and the real job... So, don't be afraid...You can totaly do it.

Also, don't feel intimidated by the competitors, seriousely, I doubt anyone would have the experiences that you did, so, just be yourself, the ones who think it's hard are not you, you don't need to think that way because it is not hard for you.

Let the losers worry about losing, true and encouraging.

Going to bed now, with my two little monsters who are going to give me power and cure my body.

Hope I have a good night of sleep. And that my dream's wings is going to take me high...

Go fight for your dream. You can do it! ; )

KEEP THE FAITH!

sick again...keep on drinking water, but it still feels my throat is about to split into half...not the most pleasant feeling for sure...

but, I somehow like it when I am so settled in the room, and just quitely work on the things that I should be doing...feels satisfied...

I have also realized that the "perfect day" really exist in my heart, which means if I want, every day can be that perfect day...the thought alone is alredy exciting...

and yes, should build the bridge instead of a wall, simple but profund. I like it.

 ; )

Keep the faith, and never, never, never give up!

This is good, this is definitely a good thing.

There's nothing I should be upset about. I might have been if I was the old self, but I have grown. And that means I know who I am and I don't let other people influence me.

It's almost like a year and a half ago, when things were uncertain, and the enviroment around was rootless, and I somehow was tempted to follow their trend. But then I told myself to wake up, to see for myself, to live for myself, and that's when I started to keep getting the roots down and absorbing the moist from the deep, and the deeper. Sure, I might have looked the same as some other plants back then, but my roots were a lot deeper, a lot stronger, and that enabled my growth.

Now, the enviroment is a lot better, A LOT, nothing to complain whatsoever. But, I still need to see clearly who I truly am. Becasue it's even easier to mistaken someone else's goal for my own. As an analogy, the past 3 years was like some natural disaster, the plants that were my height but without deep roots were put on the ground if not worse, their shallow roots exposed, and they are now, again, busy putting some roots in, but as soon as they can stand, they cannot wait to expand and reestablish themselves. But, the depth of the roots has already determined how tall they can grow. Simple bioloty, small roots cannot support the big body, so, they are doomed to have the the same experience again and again if they dont' learn to nurture themselves first.

So, the left ones like me, not only survived the stroms, and because of the extra moiture, is growing stronger, taller and deeper. So, within my sight now, are the ones who have a similar background and have definitely achieved some great heights with their deeper roots. So, now, you see, it really could be misleading when you see what they are doing that's different from you, because you thought you were the same. But, don't forget that, growing to this height does not necessarily garantee a healthy growing process. It could be because the enviroment they came from was better, which means they could have achieved their full potential already.Or it could be because the gardner worked really hard to make sure they grow to that height  and keep it there, which means again, they are likely to stay at the current level because they only know what the gardners want them to do. In this scenario, they could even grow backward once the gardner is gone and they lost their target, they started to only expand upward but now downward, which ultimately will knock themselves down.

So, don't let others influence you. You are who you are, know what you want, believe in yourself, and just go for it.

One will never know how to live if they cannot balance hard work and life. Because, that's what life really is.

Follow your heart, hold on tight to your dreams, and keep on learning.

Life is beautiful, and life is mine!

Keep the faith, and NEVER NEVER NEVER give up!

It's ok to have mood swings,

it's ok to feel frustrated and uncertain about things,

it's ok to be upset,

because they are only temporal,

and that they are in fact normal symptoms when we are chasing our dreams.

Enjoy the beauty of all this moments, because they are definitely the necessary ingredients to success and happiness. After all, it is who we are that will shine. So, all of the above shall pass.

Keep the faith and never, never, NEVER give up!

Ok, So, Time to think. Just read through some old blog entries. Now, I am filled with energy! I was so determined, and I still am! I had strong faith, and I still have!

The mental toughness is restored, and I am going to equip that with my dream, and fly really high.

I know what I want, and i know it's not easy to get them, but I will get it!

No one is better than anyone else, don't underestimate myself!

非常非常重要的一点：相信自己！相信自己的实力！no one can let you down if you don't allow it! Quiet Confidence！

Never, Never, NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10:20 AM Woke up

10:30 AM Got ready for Yoga and helped friend/sister with her stuff

10:46 AM Stepped outside the door. Snow. Cleared the car out.

10:50 AM On the way to pick her up

11:00 AM Arrived at her BF's place and gave her the clothes

11:07 AM On the way to Yoga

11:26 AM Parked the car

11:30 AM stayed for yoga lesson for 10 minutes, saw a hot guy

11:46 AM starbucks coffee run

12:00 PM home

12:30 PM breakfast/fold clothes/water run

12:46 PM news/radio/songs

13:10 PM writing this blog and getting ready for study

13:15 PM papa Brown got home chatted...

13:39 PM really starting to study now...

Anyways, the highlight of this entry is: saw a hot guy, found a good song...and I love studying!! LOL